I didn't know

I did not know that writing is an art form
I did not know that it took skill
I did not know that practice made me
The writer that I was back then

Now and then I sit here
I try to write that which eludes me
But the words won't really come
Just bits and pieces as I sip tea

Music helps but not that much
I can't even write reviews
With all this energy deep inside
I can only write a few

Yeah, I remember
I remember how my fingers flew
Computers couldn't keep up with me
I was cryptic even when I knew
And now I sit, my soul to bare
Laid out and open for all to feel
And cannot find a single thing
To write about that makes this real

I wanna be that writer again
I wanna be the one with so much angst
With so much to spill, so much to share
Whether good or whether bad
I want the words that I once had
Just let me feel, let me feel the pain
Let me feel the wind and rain
Let the sun spill its rays on me
Give me back those words
Those words that always set me free

This year's resolution:
Write. Write. Write.
Fight for it, my need to write.
For my expression still depends upon it.
Without my words I must depend on photographs
and photographs don't do my internal world the justice
that pen and paper always could
even when they never could

I wanna be that writer again
I wanna be the one with so much angst
With so much to spill, so much to share
Whether good or whether bad
I want the words that I once had
Just let me feel, let me feel the pain
Let me feel the wind and rain
Let the sun spill its rays on me
Give me back those words
Those words that always set me free

Yeah, stop these endless waking nights
Where 2am is when I write
Within my head I am so haunted
In my dreams, I am so taunted
Words flash by me at the speed of sound
Waves of colour all around
As I lay there helpless, my heartbeat spiking
As if I were paralyzed
All alone within my head
Unable to speak what I'm feeling
My fingers frozen in a shallow stream
The dead of winter, summer feelings
Just a trickle starts to form
And

I wanna be that writer again
I wanna be the one with so much angst
With so uch to spill, so much to share
Whether good or whether bad
I want the word that I once had
Just let me feel, let me feel the pain
Let me feel the wind and rain
Let the sun wash over me
Give me back those awesome words
The ones that always set me free
Words have always set me free