Family

Mum has been telling me off and on about the issues facing my cousin
and her daughter. She said my cousin's view is likely one-sided.

I agreed, because I used to feel that way back when the right side was
MY side, but now I see both sides of our story and can see why Mum's
side was the right one, too - from her perspective, that is. I mean,
I still don't full agree with her on a few things, but I can see why
she could feel the way she does about them. Well, my cousin's got her
side, but her daughter's got a side, too. From my perspective, I
could easily imagine that she's feeling good about herself right now,
staying off drugs when their pull might be so strong, and then having
a mother who still refuses to believe she's a good person inside just
because she's done some stupid things in the past. What could make it
worse is that the kid may not understand that her mom's particularly
vulnerable right now, having just lost her husband of well, a long
time. The kid could be taking her mother's words quite personally
which would do absolutely nothing for her own self-esteem. It takes a
strong person to pull out of such a cycle.

Am I talking about my cousins, or my mother and I?

Regardless, in the kid's case - I'd say that assuming she continues to
pull herself up by her bootstraps and stays off drugs, she's a damned
strong person and worthy of a second look by her own mother, at the
least.

I can also see her mother's side, though - worry that she'll lapse
back into drugs as she has before. But I know from experience that
people with bad habits can surprise the shit out of you.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the
courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the
difference." ~Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer

~nv