Amazing Grace and Tomato Soup

Our rather multitalented boss moved on to new endeavours today. I
knew this was coming for the past two weeks, but last night I sat
here after a gruellingly long day at work and cried as I wrote him a
letter. Knowing how unbeloved my long emails are to my coworkers, I
wanted to keep it short. After rewriting it a few times, though, I
decided to grant myself the rare luxury of the whole page. It was,
after all, to be a parting farewell to an awesome person who will be
sorely missed in our department. In addition to being fair-minded,
proactive, and a visionary, he's got an entertaining sense of humour,
deep brown eyes, and a wonderful singing voice. I still remember
when I was going through a bit of a spiritual revamp a few years
back, and without telling him why, suggested that he sing Amazing
Grace. He was behind a server, but the next thing I knew, I was
frozen in place with tears rolling down my face, as if God Himself
was speaking to me through that voice, which resonated around the
server to flow around me in a gorgeous embrace of acoustic
perfection. Yes, in a fan-infested server room, God touched me
through song.

I don't think he ever saw me, and I never told him about the
experience brought on by his willingness to sing that song. But I
will never forget it as long as I live, because that moment
reaffirmed my faith. There are precious few moments in my life where
I hear God's tune resonating within me like that.

Memory aside, I finally penned the letter to my satisfaction and
folded it carefully into a plain envelope, on which I enscribed his
name. Yesterday morning at 6am, I went in to work and placed this
letter on his fast-emptying desk. Then I sat down to work. He came
in later and saw it, began to read, and turned to ask me if it were
mushy and whether he might get all teary-eyed reading it. I told him
he ought to read it later, and so he said he would and tucked it
away. Later we had a going away party for him. I ate at the front
of the room away from the crowd, avoiding him for fear of clinging to
him and blubbering all over his shirt. (I am known to be this way
when someone leaves, and this one is a particularly difficult event
for me. I wasn't taking chances this time, especially since it's my
boss.)

So, the party dissipated and I pretended nothing amiss was about to
occur. I went back to work and proceeded to discover a laptop with
spyware on it toward the end of my day. Had to reimage it pronto, so
I gathered it up and began the process. Since no image existed for
it, I had to reinstall XP from scratch. My state of mind was a bit
of a goner so I forgot to gather the drivers before doing this.
Sigh! So I spent about 7 hours on installs, updates, and drivers.
6pm came and went. 7. 8. 9. 10. Finally at 10:30pm, I gave up on
the last two drivers and made an image of my new creation. Then I
tweaked it for its user, deposited it gingerly on her desk, and
booted it from the docking station - just to make sure the wireless
keyboard and mouse would work. It did.

I ambled off about 11pm or so, quite moody but relieved to have that
mess out of my hair.

This morning I came in late - 10am - and saw that our boss was still
wandering around cleaning and organizing his work for whomever may
take his place. Good, I thought, I'll still have my chance to say
goodbye in person. At some point he took notice of me and leaned
over to indicate he'd read the letter. He said he planned to frame
it. I don't know if that's true or not but I was touched and glad he
appreciated my words, for I felt they were totally lacking in the
depth of feeling I had experienced over the past several years. I
felt a slight smile touch my face in acknowledgement and he went
away, leaving me to my work. Of course, for the past two weeks I've
been calling him a traitor, so I saw no reason to desist. Each time
I saw him pass by, I'd raise my voice at him: "Traitor!!" A
coworker talked me out of that word so I began saying "Defector!"
instead as the afternoon slowly drew to a close.

That was the last thing I said to him. I got called away for a
while, and when I returned, I found an order slip on my desk. I
wrote a code on it and turned to get up, to place it on his desk as
the last thing he might sign for me. Suddenly a hollow chasm filled
my heart as I noticed that his desk was just too empty. "He...
didn't leave already, did he?" I croaked. My coworkers told me that
yes, he had.

I know - consciously - that this is OK. I know that he'll be happy
moving on, learning new things, overcoming new challenges. It's not
like he's upped and died or anything, and it's not like he and I were
best buds, either. I mean, it's totally illogical to feel such a
deep-seated attachment to him, right? Yet I felt my shoulders slump
as if they'd hit the floor. I melted into my chair, dumbfounded,
fighting the tears that started rolling down my cheeks anyway.
Finally I had to leave, so I found a restroom and just stayed there
for a good portion of an hour, unable to make myself presentable.
Despite my disappointment towards not getting to say goodbye, I
believe that God knows best, and that my being called away before
such a thing could occur was a blessing. Perhaps the blubbering
would have hit me harder if I'd hugged him in an appreciative
goodbye, shook his hand in sad congratulations and watched him
leave. I think he's gotten the jist of all this without the drama,
you know? Thank goodness for pen and paper!

Well, the blubbering hit me hard, and I've had a headache ever
since. This happens. The headache got worse throughout this evening
and peaked about an hour ago. You know - nausea coming in to keep it
company. I popped an Advil and...

got a terrible hankering for tomato soup.

So, I did a brief perusal of tomato soup recipes and decided to do this:

1 boullion cube
2 cups boiling water
1 can (6oz) tomato paste
1 tsp Oregano
1 tsp Basil
1 cup of milk
1 cup cooked rice
French's fried onions

Dissolve the boullion cube in the boiling water. Add the tomato
paste and blend with spoon until it's all dissolved-like. Add
oregano and basil and stir in. Stir in the milk. Stir in the rice.
Get some of that into a bowl and add some of the fried onions for
added texture and taste.

It came out far better than I'd expected.

So, I'm sitting here writing this, eating tomato and rice soup,
sipping on meade, and listening to one of my favourite songs:
Amazing Grace. As soon as this entry has been posted, I shall retire
to bed and await a whole new day.

~nv

smoothie

Made a smoothie, too. I almost forgot about that. I shouldn't do
that, though, because I'll inevitably put fruit in there and for some
reason blended fruit hits me faster than normal fruit. I don't get
this fruit thing. All I did was put a small can of "fruit cocktail"
in with a small amount of grape juice. The rest was carrot, celery,
yogurt and ... well, that was it. Now I've got one heck of a
headache and I'm super tired and my throat feels funny, like I'm
catching cold again, but not bad like a cold so I know it's the fruit.

Why am I plagued with a fruit intolerance?? I LIKE fruit... ::growl::

Anywho, the smoothie was very tasty. Next time I'll just add less
fruit... and in all honesty, I'm not that crazy about yogurt in my
smoothies. It's too acidic. Maybe I should get a juicer and just
make carrot juice. Carrot juice is good and doesn't give me
headaches...

~nv

soup's on!

Just made some tasty soup. I came up with this:
one good-sized potato, peeled and cubed into bite-sized pieces
a handful of baby carrots, chopped up
three stalks of celery, sliced into bite-sized pieces
One orange pepper, chopped
One small onion, chopped
Green beans, frozen
Chicken bouillon cube, dissolved in about 1/4 cup water
Olive Oil
Oregano, pepper, other seasonings to taste

The potato, celery and most of the carrots go into a pot of boiling
water. The water should just cover the veggies. While that boils,
chop up and sautee the onion, orange pepper, and some of the carrots
in olive oil. At the spices as desired. Do this over medium-high
heat. When the onions look translucent, dump in some green beans and
stir-fry until the beans are warmed up. Stir in the bouillion/water
mixture (if there are heavy particles at the bottom of the dish, add
more water and dump the rest in the pot of water). Stir-fry 30
seconds longer. Add the pot of boiling veggies and water. Yes, all
of it, provided only enough was used to cover the veggies in the
first place. This serves as the water base for the bouillion AND
captures any nutrients that leeched out of the veggies. Boil about
two minutes and then reduce heat to low or remove completely (I set
it on low because I wasn't ready to eat yet).

And whammo, food!

~nv

v-day poem

For Dale on our first "married" v-day.

tea effects

I forget how I got into this, but... I had no idea tea had FLUORIDE in it.  Like, far more than water.  See this article from wiki:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potential_effects_of_tea_on_health#Effects_of_fluoride

There are also things called "oxalates" in tea that are thought to perhaps absorb calcium from the body.  You'd have to drink a LOT of tea to really get enough oxalates to cause damage, but it made me wonder if perhaps this is why oriental folks are often regarded as shorter than their western counterparts?  No idea.  Then again, the English are known for tea-drinking, and they're not short...

Anywho, interesting reading.  Whilst in my internet travels, I also stumbled across these items here:

http://www.enjoyingtea.com/stone-teapots.html  which then led me to this...

http://www.jcstone.cn/chinateapot.asp  wand I really liked #23, but can't figure out how much they are or how to buy them, so then I scoured the net some more and couldn't find anything else made out of this most interesting form of jade (if it's so rare, why's it so cheap at enjoyingtea.com??)... then I found this and thought, "HOW CUTE!!!!!!!  But... copper??"

http://www.hinkyimport.com/chcosqte.html 

Gotta love the 'net... in the end I decided to refrain from pursuing this further, as I've already got two nice teapots, given to me as gifts, and a special infuser that Dale gave me a couple years ago.  All three items are perfectly functional for making tea, and ornamental in their own way.  I also have a nice set of four cups which may not be specifically intended for tea, but they're awesome cups and can hold a cuppa just as well as those itty bitties the Chinese use.  

If that #23 was to be easily purchased, however...  Well, see, I've never in my life seen something so gorgeous, functional, interesting, and simple all in the same package (other than a Mac, but that's a computer).  I think that my next endeavour shall be to visit the local Marble Exhibit and see if I can find anything there, in Verde Antique of course... doubt they'd have such a thing, but you never know.  Can't find anything online, for sure.  Hmph.

Well, I'm updating Address Book entries now... Just figured out that you can add photos.  Weird!!  But okay...

~nv

REorganization

It never ceases to amaze me how much CRAP one can accumulate over a
period of time.. I have been cleaning out some drawers in my den and
am aghast at the amount of unwanted items in each drawer. I am a
freakin' pack rat, I swear. I have things I used to play with as a
child. I still have the old card stock from a store I worked at...
basically, the outline of all the price tags I used to tear out and
slide into plastic containers. It's really trash, but I saved it
because I wanted to make "flash cards" for my Cherokee book. Never
did. Today it finally made it to the trash, after several glances
over the years and the thought, "But I could still use
that!!" (Yeah, right.)

So, I've been working in short spurts, in small areas, a little at a
time, to clean this mess up. I think that if I were left in here by
myself for the next three weeks I could cut my den's contents by a
fourth. Dangit. It just dawned on me that I forgot to get food when
I was downstairs, and I'm still hungry. Anywho. I've found that
drawers are definitely the way to go. Because of how they slide in
and out of their containers, you have to be wary of piling too much
stuff into them or it gets caught. Also, depending on their depth,
they can either be difficult to dig to the bottom of or they can
offer at-a-glance contents. Tends to make you really think about
what you put where.

What I've been doing over time is emptying out small boxes into these
drawers, cutting back on the amount of things I've kept in storage or
the closet. Unfortunately, I did not abide by my friend's new rule,
which is to throw something out every time you buy something new.
So, I've since bought new things and now have just as much stuff.
But, better than double it. See, by keeping my drawers full of
stuff, I'm constantly getting annoyed by having to paw through things
after having them so neat for a while. So, I scour for things to
throw out or give away, thus keeping them neat. Sneaky, huh? My old
method consisted of piling unused stuff somewhere until it was so
high it annoyed me, then I'd shove it all in a box and store it. No
more. I have to live with my crap or get rid of it.

It will hopefully be even easier once we move into the house next
month. It may sound ironic, but I have the feeling that having MORE
space will help me MAKE space. See, this is my argument: If I'm
OVERcrowded by clutter, I get claustrophobic and overwhelmed. I
become accustomed to seeing things messy and simply overlook it after
a while out of sheer necessity. My den has been doable because I've
kept a spot clear enough to keep me thinking things are neat.
Because of seeing things "neat," however, I can't stand looking in
messy drawers. But, see, the messy drawers are small enough to
tackle so long as I do them one at a time, and each is pretty much
designated so I can reorganize things into their proper places as I go.

As a result, I've made contact with each item recently, thrown out a
few things I don't want/need, and now I know where to find that
doohickey from five years ago now that I actually need it. And if
for some reason I'm not sure of its location, I don't destroy my
whole den tossing stuff out of boxes looking for it. I simply wing
open all the drawers instead.

Armed with this knowledge, I'm forseeing this: The downstairs of the
house is kept immaculate (my definition) and organized. My playpen
upstairs is my personal storage room and workspace. I expect it will
be messy for a while but over time I'll get that cleaned up, too.
Why? Because currently I have to scour my stuff to find things to
toss. I want, badly, to drag some stuff out of the storage room and
go through it, but it's cold in there and there are a/c's in my way.
I'd have to really DIG to get to anything, which overwhelms me to
even think about. Having all my storage in that one room, which will
be big enough to work in and have my hobbies in, will enable me to
pull things out as needed, converting it all to drawers or trash as I
go.

I know, my logic is a bit odd, but I'm sure it will work.

On another note, I feel I'm letting go of a lot of my past,
converting it to mere memories. I found an easter Snoopy which Mom
had given me on Easter a ways back. I'm not particularly fond of the
stuffed animal, but I've kept it because it was one of the last
things she gave me for Easter. I already had my own place and she
came down and hid stuff everywhere as if I were still a kid. I
decided today that the memory of that day will stay put, the dog
doesn't need to. It's not like I take it out and stare at it
regularly, anyway.

I also just realized that I don't like Hickory Farms sausage
anymore. Never been fond of sausage and their sausage is exactly
that. I do still like the cheeses, though. From now on, I suppose I
should be looking for those gift boxes that only have the cheese and
crackers...

Well, back to snacking and packing...

~nv

buying house

Well, I think it's pretty much a sure thing now, unless something
weird happens. So, yeah, we're buying a house! It's a happy house,
a former Colonial duplex that's now a one-family. OMG so much
space. Twice what we've got here. I've been bordering on
claustrophobia since moving here. Good thing I got the larger of the
dens is all I used to tell myself. Now my office will be even bigger
and more open! Beautiful kitchen, all these extra rooms, too. And a
decent yard, too.

So I've been cleaning up my playpen, throwing stuff out and
reorganizing all my storage spots. Moving sucks, I remember it quite
well. This time we're doing it in the end of winter, too. I've been
mentally putting all the furniture and things into the new place,
trying to get a feel for how to organize the move itself. Ideally
each room is moved into its corresponding room right from the getgo,
you know? Ha. I know that'll never happen! But at least we're not
cramming two households into one this time. That was a nightmare.

Hm. I think I'm going to replant all the pothos and hang them in the
kitchen. Including the one that's been creeping toward the stairs to
kill us in our sleep. Kitchen in new place far from stairs.
Hehheh. Seems its growth was subdued since winter set in. One can
hope. That thing is nuts. I swear that four or five of its latest
leaves came in within a week or two of each other. A leaf a week!!
And the vine extendeths...

In other news, I just had a tuna sandwich with a side of capers. Yum.

~nv

Language vs humanity

This is a most interesting subject to me, because I love language, Native American lore, and culture in general.  The interview mentioned below talks about the Abenaki language and how there are 70 or so languages that could run into extinction if they are not acted upon and passed onto younger generations.  Whammo, all three loves in one shot.  Hence my forthcoming comments on this.

Aside from feeling residual horror for the trials that so many cultures have gone through over the history of mankind, what I find interesting is the irony inherent in this situation.  First, natives were cornered, persecuted, shoved into death, despair, illness, captivity, taunting, pretty much near annihilation.  Then the survivors were threatened and coerced into avoiding their native tongue and pretty much anything that wasn't "American."  Now, generations later, it's not only acceptable to be a Native American but it can be a prideful thing.  And, after so many children grew up without their native languages, they seek them.  The languages are like gold; historians and the curious alike scramble to save them from extinction.  What was once a shameful thing has become a valued art, a piece of culture that must be lost.

I try to put myself in our forefathers' shoes and fail.  Is it because I'm not in those times?  Are there pieces of history of which we are entirely unaware?  Or do I, like others these days, simply have more forethought, more thoughts of equality, than they did then?  If the latter, then why does the world still make the same mistakes it always has?  Why are we still at war with other countries?  What is the purpose of learning World History if not to try to do better?  Are we only studying our books so we can take lessons on how to ruin ourselves?

Anywho, the article:

VT Edition Interview: Jeanne Brink & Ellen Lutz on preserving the Abenaki language

http://www.vpr.net/news_detail/79141/

I hope Jeanne is successful on her quest.  I'm uncertain on my feelings on whether language is such an integral part of one's culture, but if even one language can be saved, I'm for it.

~nv